Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just Another Tuesday... But Not Really

Throughout this entry, my state of mind changes from pretty drunk to black out to just odd ramblings. I’m really glad I decided to type all this while I was drunk. I don’t remember most of these thoughts or actions, but they were on my laptop when I woke up in the morning. So, here it goes; Weekend Stories! And remember, I was drunk for this, I don’t actually remember much of it.

Alright, I’m really fucked up right now, just about the most fucked up I’ve ever been. The only reason I don’t seem fucked up at all is because I ran spell check before I posted this. Right now, I’ve drank almost a fifth of Goldschläger… which is awesome alcohol by the way. It tastes of hot tamales/cinnamon. So, a little while ago, Amy and David started to cuddle on the lazy boy. I knew what was going on, so I courteously started wandering about the cabin so I wouldn’t disturb them. They headed upstairs and I stayed downstairs like a good friend would. Later on, David came downstairs; we had a quick discussion about how much I trusted him and how much I loved Amy (the friend type of love. I actually have never contemplated dating her.) After a few minutes, we headed upstairs to find her lying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet in a pool of her own vomit. Being a Lifeguard and a trained professional, I immediately moved her into the recovery position and just talked to her to make sure she was still breathing / alive. After a while/right now, I went downstairs to the other bathroom to pee and to get something more to drink… I hear loud noises… I need to check on her… brb… I found out what the noises were. It was David panicking because she started to vomit again. I kept her reassured that I was there and that I was a trained professional, which I am by the way. I sat and talked with David and talked for a while. David puked from alcohol for the first time in his life (he’s Irish.) I only came back down to check the time and to finish this paragraph. I’m heading back upstairs to tell David that it’s only midnight. He will be disappointed in himself.

So, David and I moved Amy to a bed and watched over her for a bit. She was rank of vomit so David had to keep his distance or else he would vomit. I held her on her side so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit. David said he needed to lie down, so he did… and passed out. I changed Amy’s shirt… I didn’t look. I gave her my own. Her sweatshirt was covered in vomit, and I was dry. Last thing I want it for her to be covered in her own vomit. There is a towel under her head just in case. I came down to get my drink and to update this. I will try and update it as much as possible. I’m going back upstairs now, Total Amy vomit count: 3. Total Dave vomit count: 1 (cause of the smell) Total Casey vomit count: 0!

I’ve been watching Amy for about an hour now, and she hasn’t thrown up. Which is why I think she’ll be fine. But Then again, I’m more fucked up than when I started this blog. The only reason I’m conscious right now is because I refuse to sit or lay down. I’m watching someone. I have to stay awake. I must stay awake. She relies on me to stay awake and survive. By the way, I’m not going to remember this story, so I’m glad I’m typing it right now. Cause I can tell that I’m swaying back and forth.

I am so drunk right now that I should NOT be in charge of two dunk people. David is passed out. Amy is passed out. I have the hiccups. I brought the bottle of Goldschläger up with me and I’m even more drunk than before. I wanted to watch the movie “Strange Brew” but I’m too drunk to start again. I need to go back upstairs now to check on the others. I don’t think that lifeguard training would help at this point….

It is now 1:30 in the morning and I am fucked beyond belief. Amy is responding, she’s Ok. David is also responding. That means he’s OK too! Which is a giant plus. Since I’m trashed. I see a toaster, I’m going to try and find bread…

I have just searched every cabinet in the house for some bread and all are empty. Unless someone wants to put some effort into searching, I give up

I just checked everyone else, and they seem fine. They will definitely make it through the night whether or not I pass out. I shut my eyes for a millisecond and my property value has already sky rocketed. I suggest that you let the property folk speak first and then build off of what they say. If they don’t say much, buy what is available as quick as possible so that other companies don’t try to jump in on it.

PASS OUT

The Morning After:
I have no idea when I typed all that. We just read it and it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I woke up to Dave and Amy talking downstairs and heard them talking about me. I answered and came down. I don’t remember half the stuff that happened in the story and Amy doesn’t remember anything. David just went out to get my long johns and shirt since Amy had my old one and I don’t really know where it is anymore. She says it’s “over there” and pointed in a general direction to my left. I just got my mom’s voicemails from last night. I forgot to call her and tell her that I was still alive. Well, I’m still drunk and we’re getting ready to go skiing. It should be a great day. The only reason I don’t have a hangover is because I’m still drunk. I’ll get back to this soon.

Amy is still drunk and lying on the floor. I just gave her some water and she sat up. We’re trying to get ready but it’s not really working. We’re going now, time to put on the boots.

Just got back from snowboarding. It was pretty radtastic. Snow was awesome the first couple hours we were there but kind of warmed up and became sticky later in the day. We stopped for lunch and I felt like I was really really hungry… apparently a lot too much. We were sitting there laughing and talking about the night before when I started feeling a little nauseous. I threw up in a garbage can out front while Amy and David sat there laughing at me… bastards. I threw up about 10 dollars worth of food! It sucked!

Now that we’re back at the cabin, we’re picking up the damage from last night, I’m not cleaning the vomit… wasn’t mine. I tallied the vomit count… these results aren’t official yet, but my tally was Amy: 3, Dave: 1, Casey: 1 the next day.

Just got home. I’m exhausted, and hungry. I can’t seem to keep food down at all. I think I’m getting bulimia. David said I should just stop eating altogether, since anorexia is cheaper than bulimia. I’ve thrown up about $20 worth of food today. The Official Vomit Count is Amy: 3, Dave: 1, Casey: 2. none of mine was from alcohol…

My overall thoughts on this trip: Awesome! It couldn’t have gone any better in my opinion. Now we know Amy’s limits and will happily disregard them next time. I think that was the best Tuesday of my entire life.

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