My Audience Liked It

On Tuesday, I gave a speech in my speech class (imagine that) on my pet peeves. Since I wanted to be a little more creatice, I named it "Things That Piss Me Off." I got a pretty good glare from my teacher but that was it. My pet peeve was When People Don't Know How To Do Things, But Do Them Anyway.

I started out with a reference to Napoleon and Hitler. I stated that they didn't know how to dress warm when he attacked Russia. Napoleon went up there, "I've got a great idea! I've got a great idea! OH! It's a bit cold! It's a bit cold!" He lost thousands of troops to the cold. Then Hitler, 100 years later, went up, "I've got a better idea! I've got a better idea! AHH! It's the same idea! It's the same idea!" He lost a few million troops.

I slid into the main point of my speach after that with, "The same things happen today but on a less… world wide scale. Some people are so dense that they try and do things that they don't know how to do and just create more work and more frustration for those around them."

I really don't feel like typing my whole speech, so I'll just post my outline which is already typed and good to go.

I Video Games:
A) Vehicles
1 What normally happens: Cliff Diving
2 Calling a vehicle
3 There’s a tutorial
4 Every time you get in, a help tab pops up
5 People are better than you
B) Team Killing
1 Just pisses people off
2 Probably aren’t good enough to kill the enemy
3 Return fire: vote to ban
II At Work:
A) Tickets
1 A few people have been trained
2 People who haven’t been trained did it
3 “Nobody But Managers”
B) Taking tickets
1 Not hard, take tickets, put in bucket, repeat number to customer
2 Set the scale, instructions on front
3 Mental math is not hard, especially when everything is in multiples of 5
C) Lazertag
1 Again, only a few people have been trained
2 Vests are getting broken
3 Vests are out of place

III Driving:
A) You’ve all seen them
1 Drivers cutting you off
2 Not doing the speed limit
3 Lack of blinker
B) Today’s Black Plague
1 Everywhere
2 At school

I got quite a few good laughs out of the whole speech. I pulled from Lewis Black's comedy style and did the angry voice and some stuff like that. I of course built on each of those points and talked about them individually. My teacher even laughed at some of the things. I got a 98 out of 100 on it, so I'm really happy.